Fear Is Your Friend
This week’s guest blog is from Keith Blakemore-Noble, UK’s #1 Fear Strategist!
We get told so many things about fear.
We are told it is “False Evidence Appearing Real” — which is not the case. Just pretending we are not scared does nothing to calm the nerves, let’s face it.
We are told we should face the fear and do it anyway — which is little more than macho nonsense, and unhelpful nonsense at that — if it really were that simple, we’d all be doing it! Instead, this approach is responsible for so many people failing to get anywhere near conquering their fears.
But what actually is fear?
Does it serve a purpose?
What can we do about it?
When you get right down to it, Fear is your Friend.
Fear is simply your unconscious mind trying to get your attention, to say “Hey, sorry to interrupt your day, but we need to take a look at this before we continue.”
So why is it such a debilitating emotion? Why can’t our unconscious suggest it to us gently?
Well that’s the thing — it was, and you ignored it, so it had to shout louder and louder until you finally heard the message!
To explain, let’s imagine that your friend was going to do something, and you were concerned that there was something they’d overlooked, something which could be a hidden danger.
You might try to make subtle suggestions, maybe drop hints. Which they ignore.
So then you get a little more insistent, raise the topic more blatantly. Which they ignore.
So you say it a little more forcefully — after all, you are looking out for your friend’s safety. They ignore your concerns.
Eventually, you scream at them at the top of your voice, and maybe grab their arm to get their attention, at which point they either stop and listen, or they wander off with you shouting after them…
That’s what’s happening here!
Think back to when you were going to do something, and you were scared.
Now think back to before you felt scared.
That feeling in your gut?
That little voice at the back of your head?
That feeling, the little niggle you couldn’t place?
Yeah, those were your mind trying to get your attention and get you to double-check something.
And you kept ignoring it.
Until your mind did its version of screaming at you — that’s what you experienced as fear.
So what can we do when we feel fear?
There are different types of fear, with different causes and different approaches to overcome them, but broadly speaking we can split them into two categories — Situational Fear and Habitual Fear.
This is a fear which comes on in a specific (usually new) situation, such as when you are attempting something different. Such as considering leaving a job, or starting a business, or moving somewhere new, or doing something new, or whatever.
In this case, that fear means it’s simply time to pause, and to open your mind, relax, and consider what you might have overlooked.
Sure, it’s difficult the first time you do this, because your mind is expecting to have to keep shouting, but when you pause, and listen to your instinct, or your gut feel, or your intuition — doesn’t matter what you call it, just allow your mind the space to relax and allow the trigger behind the fear to become observed.
You can then start to address it — maybe it was something you overlooked, or maybe it was something you had considered but your mind hadn’t quite appreciated why it’s all OK.
This is a fear which seems to always happen in a particular situation (phobias are a great example of situational fear).
For example, getting frightened at the thought of speaking in front of a group of people would certainly be a situational fear.
This is usually a fear we have learned, typically when we are very young. Something happened, and our mind did the best it could at the time, and decided this Thing was life-threatening and so it learned to always be scared of it.
As the UK’s #1 Fear Strategist, I’ve helped thousands of people around the planet to transform their lives over the past 11 years, which has included helping people to resolve all manner of fears.
Sometimes it is uncovering what is behind the fear and putting things in place to resolve the issues.
Other times it’s simply helping the unconscious mind to change it’s lessons learned about the Thing, so it is no longer something scary. This can happen quickly, and is always safe and fun.
If you’d like to understand a little bit more about where our fears come from — especially Habitual Fears and phobias — and how they can be overcome, please grab yourself a free copy of my 24 page eBook “The Abridged Almost Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Phobias (but were afraid to ask)“.
And do let me know what you think — of the ebook, or of this blog. I’m always up for a chat about fears!
Keith Blakemore-Noble is the UK’s #1 Fear Strategist, having helped thousands of people across the planet to transform their deepest fears into their greatest strengths over the past 11 years. As well as being a master practitioner (and trainer) of NLP and hypnosis, he is also a multi-time international best-selling author, and an award-winning international speaker, and currently hosts two podcasts.