Networking for Introverts: Overcoming Shyness and Building Your Network

Some people absolutely love networking.

The anticipation of not knowing who you’re going to meet. The thrill of getting to meet new people and build new connections. The knowledge you gain from listening to other people’s business experiences. The rush you feel from explaining your business proposition to someone who is genuinely interested.

But for people who are naturally introverted, the thought of going to a networking event, or even joining an online networking session can give them butterflies in their stomach and a sense of nervousness.

This feeling of apprehension can often lead introverts to talk themselves out of networking — convincing themselves that because they don’t feel comfortable with it, they’re not going to be any good at it. Some people even try to rationalise it by saying they are better focusing on their strengths and the things they enjoy to help build their business.

Now, I’m not one to encourage anybody to do things that they don’t enjoy doing.

If you’re an introvert, you’ve tried different networking groups, and you genuinely don’t feel it’s for you — you’ll be getting no pressure from me!

But, from my perspective, a lot of apprehension that introverts have about being ‘no good’ at networking is completely misplaced. Introverts actually make some of the best networkers!.

In this post, I’ve put together a quick overview about why introverts are often incredibly effective networkers, and some tips that might hopefully make networking more manageable and effective for introverts.

What makes introverts make some of the best networkers?

Let’s start by dispelling the myth that introverts can’t be good networkers. This is so far from the truth!

This misunderstanding probably comes from an erroneous belief that networking is insincere, involves a lot of schmoozing, needs you to be master of small talk, and requires you to be the life and soul of the party. Nope!

In our article about the art of networking, we discussed some of the qualities you need to be effective at networking:

• Listening
• Patience
• Thoughtfulness
• The ability to forge meaningful connections
• A desire to add value
• A dedication to follow-up

The truth is that introverts are far more likely to possess these qualities than extroverts, which makes them ideal for succeeding at networking!

But don’t just take my word for it. Stefan Thomas, author of Business Networking for Dummies, believes that introverts tend to make great networkers because they are good and listening and are generally more interested in learning about other people than talking about themselves.

So there you have it — introversion could actually be your secret power when it comes to networking!

Tips for networking as an introvert

Even though we’ve established that introverts can often make the best networkers — this isn’t going to magically make the nerves disappear ahead of your next networking event.

That’s why I’ve put together this section with some practical tips on how to successfully navigate networking as an introvert.

Preparation is key

Overthinking is a common trait amongst introverts, which can occasionally lead to feelings of anxiety and stress ahead of a networking event.

You might find yourself worrying about how to start a conversation with people, the best way to pitch your business, what to wear, or even about who might attend the event.

Rather than worrying about these things, taking the time to proactively prepare for them can often put your mind at ease.

If you’re looking for a list of conversation starters, there’s a great list compiled by readers of The Muse as well as 10 tried and tested conversation starters from Inc.com

If you’re worried about what to wear, Lynn Mikolajczak on LinkedIn has some great tips — including making sure you dress for the vibe of the event, adding a jacket or blazer if you’re unsure how formal it might be (you can always take it off!), but most importantly of all — making sure you’re comfortable.

Practising your elevator pitch is another way to help prepare for networking. This is probably a whole blog post for another time, but Indeed have some great tips for how to craft a good elevator pitch.

Some structured networking events distribute a list of attendees, or LinkedIn might have a list of people who have indicated they are going to some larger events. So, if you really want to prepare ahead of time, you might be able to calm nerves by putting together a shortlist of people you’d like to get talking to. A little bit of (light!) research might help you with those conversation starters — but be careful not to look like you’ve been doing too much research!

Ready for a bonus tip? Another thing you might want to consider is getting to the networking event early, so you’re one of the first people there. This can make things a lot easier, as it can feel intimidating for anyone to walk to a networking event late when conversations and groups have already formed.

Prioritise quality over quantity

This is good advice for any networker, but it can be particularly beneficial for introverts.

Committing to forming a handful of meaningful relationships from a networking event is far more manageable (and can often be more beneficial) than trying to meet everyone in the room.

Take the pressure off yourself from trying to ‘mingle’ with everyone, and prioritise enjoying the conversations you have with the people you do meet.

Just switching this mindset for quality over quantity can completely change how you enjoy networking!

Practice self-care

Introverts can sometimes find socialising to be hard work, and there’s a concept called social burnout which relates to a feeling of exhaustion and tiredness that affects some people after being in social situations for too long.

It’s important to consider having planned strategies for managing energy levels and dealing with overwhelm if you find yourself suffering from social burnout at a networking event.

Some tips might include taking short breaks and stepping away from the crowd — maybe having a quick walk outside on your own if things start to get overwhelming.

Another good tip is to take time between talking to people and have a moment or two to themselves to reflect and think between conversations.

You might also want to practice a bit of self care after the event. Our Mindful Life has a great list of 25 techniques to help introverts recover from social hangovers.

Absolutely own the follow up!

We discussed the importance of follow up in our recent blog post — and this is where many introverts can really put their listening skills and attentiveness to great use!

Following up is not sending an informal email blast to everyone you’ve met. It’s actually more of a gentle art that demonstrates you’re not only genuinely interested in the connections you’ve made, but also dedicated to nurturing them.

So building on the point we made right at the start — while extroverts might look like the success stories on the day of a networking event, it’s the introverts that are naturals at crafting relevant, tailored follow ups that can see the best results in the long-term.

Consider online networking

Some introverts might try to implement some of these tips, and still feel that networking isn’t right for them.

But rather than dismiss networking altogether, a less intimidating option might be trialling online networking.

There perhaps isn’t the same buzz or atmosphere in online networking groups or events — but this is often the thing that introverts might be trying to avoid!

I’ve personally been part of an online network for several years, and I’ve made some great friends and connections from it. So if anyone is curious, just drop me a line and I’d be happy to recommend some good online groups.

Embrace your introversion and get networking!

If you’re an introvert there’s no need to feel that networking isn’t something you’re able to excel at or enjoy.

Introverts have a unique set of inherent strengths that can actually make them exceptional networkers!

Hopefully some of the tips I’ve put together can help you alleviate any nerves you might have around networking, and help you approach events with more positivity and confidence.

If you ever want to chat about networking strategies, please feel free to get in touch.

If you’re interested in getting started with online networking, just let me know — I’d be happy to make some introductions!